Across The Miles
by howsentimental
Summary: Sometimes true love can only be achieved by letting go...


Another romance, another of my fave pairs.  
  
  
  


**Across The Miles**  


  


_By Becky_  


  
I loved you once, nor can this heart be quiet;  
For it would seem that love still lingers there;  
But do not you be further troubled by it;  
I would in no wise hurt you, oh, my dear.  
  
I loved you without hope, a mute offender;  
What jealous pangs, what shy despairs I knew!  
A love as deep as this, as true, as tender,  
God grant another may yet offer you.  
  
_Alexander Pushkin © _  
  
  
I've never really wanted all that much from life.   
  
Just you.  
  
The only ray of light in this vast, everlasting darkness.  
  
Well, we're older now, so I guess it's finally safe to say it.  
  
I love you, Jemima, and I'm sorry.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was always a no win situation as far as you were concerned. As a kitten you were constantly admired for your beauty and kindness, and you became even more in demand when you grew up.   
  
You could have had Carby, you could have claimed Mistoffelees, but you didn't.  
  
You chose me.  
  
I'll never forget the way your eyes danced when you spoke my name. I didn't know weather to laugh or cry when you pulled me into your embrace, with that smouldered look about you that I find so haunting, playing about that rose tinted smile. They said perfection didn't exist, but I knew right there and then it existed in you.  
  
Never was there a feeling more precious than your body next to mine. Your heart banging frantically under your fur at the fault of my clumsy touch. Tiny paws captivated my entire soul with just a few brief caresses. How on earth do you do that? Move someone so deeply with so little?  
  
Our summer was the longest I've ever known. Everything was painted in vivd colours. The world glowed with your love for life, Jemi. Perhaps it was that which had blinded me from you for so long. I'd adored you forever of course, but you always seemed so far away. In the firm grasp of someone who mattered.  
  
It didn't take long before the other young toms made known their feelings on our relationship. Most blatantly, he who sits beside you now.  
  
There wasn't a cat alive worthy of your beauty, I was told, and even if there was it certainly wouldn't be me.  
  
I hate to admit that they got to me, but quite obviously they did. Not because of their attitude, not even because of their sneers, but because perhaps, just perhaps...._they had a point._  
  
I was a nobody next to him, Jemi, even now. He could give you a life in the limelight, with me, you'd be forever in the shade. I couldn't put you through that. Have _you_ receive the same cold stares I did? It was out of the question. I was simply another cat. An _"other"_ cat. Just one more face to bulk out the tribe. Heck, I didn't even have a line anymore. You were different. You _ARE_ different. A dove among pigeons, that's what you are. Those vile grey scavengers fill up the city, pecking at the bread crumbs anyone cares to toss their way. The likes of you are beyond that.  
  
Look, the point is....you could fly! You could do anything and be anything! I was a pigeon. A pigeon with it's wings clipped. How can the lilly white dove stand proud beside it's fallen shadow? Truth is..._it can't._  
  
So when you asked me if I loved you on that cold October morning, I said no. _Maybe now_...you'll understand why.  
  
_It could never have worked out! _What about later down the line, when our kittens would have been born? It would have been the same for them as it was for me! Little "others"...little spares...I'd no sooner do that to them as I would do it to you! I loved you! And if loving you meant letting you go, then so be it. I have no regrets. Even now.  
  
You looked up at me with the same shining blue orbs you always had done. And you saw it, I know you did. You saw the glimmer of a lie behind my own shallow eyes, yet you said nothing. Then that beautiful love, that...that candle you held which burned only for me...it's flame went out.  
  
No one can expect a rose to thrive in a bed of weeds, Jemima, and I would have been wrong to ask you to try.  
  
You despised me. They all did. _"Finally went and did it!" _They'd natter, _"Finally broke the poor girl's heart!" _Now they see me, they hear me talk to the few who still listen, but they won't acknowledge me. I'm here, simply because they can find no grounds with which to send me on my way.  
  
Too bad for them, because I'd never leave out of my own free will. I may no longer be your mate, Jemima, but I'll carry on protecting you until the day I die and beyond. That's something no one can ever deny me. And it really gets up their noses.  
  
So now you know my story._ THE _story. The ironic truth that kept my heart from yours.  
  
_I loved you. _I'll always love you.  
  
Maybe he does, I don't know. Maybe he feels all that I did and all that I do for you. Maybe he wakes up under the moonlight and you're the first and last thought of each and every day. Maybe his love is stronger.  
  
I doubt it. For any pain worse than what I'm bearing now would be enough to kill any tom. You're more than just a queen to me, Jemi, you're my life line. And to be around you, and to have loved you, was the most wonderful, _wonderful_ gift. I daren't ask for anything more. Even in this bittersweet agony....I am content. As you are.  
  
So across the miles from my heart to yours, have a good life. He'll make you happy, in a way my name could not. Have bundles and bundles of kittens, raise them as you were raised and you shan't go far wrong. Do not speak to me, not one word. It's all I ask of you. It's for the best. We both live in different worlds now. And any trespassing, I fear, would only result in the end of my fragile heart. _Yet if that was what you wished_....you need only cast a gaze into the dark, and I'll understand.  
  
But, if you ever need me, I won't be too far behind.  
  
Forever yours,  
  
_Victor _  
  


**  
The End**  


  
Love: A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying onenes  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
**A/N: I meant in no way to portray the tribe as cruel. I don't think, nor have I ever thought that they'd treat each other like that. It was just necessary for the story to work. Thank you. ^_^**  



End file.
